the flu...

it is absolutely amazing to me how something you can't even see can whoop your butt. i am just recovering from the flu and boy oh boy i am so glad it is over. now back to blogging. not sure if anyone even sees my little rantings but it sure makes me feel better. i think everyone shold have one. lol until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

smooth sailing?

its interesting to me how quickly life changes. just when you think you are heading in the direction you want life says "hey stupid look what i got for ya". i will deal with the bumps as i always do but dang it when is it ever gonna be smooth sailing? just for a little while would be nice. anywho...until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

need to say no...

i am always telling my friend that he needs to learn to say no to people. i wish i could learn to say no to myself. i do things that others could just as easily take care of then i get tired and resent not having time to do the fun stuff. i am a list kind of person so i am thinking that maybe if i pencil in the fun stuff i will feel like i am doing the things i need to do and satisfying the creative part of me that really needs to scrapbook more often. as with all of us i am merely a work in progress. i will find the balance eventually. until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

maybe i am shallow...

don't try to read between the lines with me. to be honest i really don't think about things that much. i try to keep my life as simple as possible. your life is your business so just go do you and be happy. don't act like you gotta be secretive with me about the choices you make. i truly don't think about it as much as you think i do. until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

the next step...

i have been busy the last couple of days helping a friend move on to the next step in their spiritual growth if you will. its so interesting to really just be quiet and listen to what folks are saying. sometimes its not with words. i think more often its with their actions. its been interesting the last couple of days to experience so many emotions with my friend. fear, joy, annoyance, elation, disappointment and even peace. when you really hear people i think they become a part of you. sometimes its good sometimes its bad but its always fascinating to me. as always i hope for the best for my friend. i'm gonna miss you bud.
until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

to be Chynna for a day...

so many labels they try to give my little Chynna-doll.

early onset bi-polar, adhd, ocd, and MR to name a few i have heard thrown around. i think they should spend a day in her world as she sees it. maybe then they could see her for who she really is and help her in the best way possible.

it makes me sad that they miss the happy performer i get to see when she is in her up cycles. as her mother i will keep trying to help her cope and find her balance. i truly believe that if we can just get the chaos to subside she can do so many amazing things. anywho...until next time. hugs, mama carolyn

backing away...

it's interesting how people come in and out of our lives and effect us in such different ways.
she seemed kinda unimportant but i think she was placed in my path to make me see some of my own personality flaws.
why do i think i deserve to have the man i feel most connected with?
why do i think i can make a long distance relationship work?
why do i think i am better than her because i don't need a relationship?
many things for me to ponder. until next time. hugs, mama carolyn